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  By Gladys G. Doty & Janet Ross

  American society is much more informal than that of 1 many other countries and, in some ways, *is characterized by 2 less so­cial distinction. The American mixture of pride in achievement and sense of "I'm just *as good as 3 anybody else", along with lack of importance placed on personal dignity, is difficult for a foreigner to understand. Americans in general *do not like to be considered inferior 4, and they grumble loudly about inconveniences or not getting a "*fair deal 5. Yet they do not *make a point of 6 their personal honor. As an illus­tration of the difference between European and American reflection in this respect, John Whyte in American Words and Ways gives the following account.

[2] A… (European) professor (visiting in America) was once sent a bill for hospital services which he had never en­joyed. The bill was accompanied by a strong letter demanding payment. It was obvious that a mistake in names had been made, but the professor, thoroughly aroused by this reflection 7 on his character and *financial integrity 8, wrote a vigorous letter of reply (which an American *might also have done 9). But in this letter of reply he *demanded that the creditor write 10 him a formal letter of apology ... for this reflec­tion on his honor. * Since no publicity could possibly have been given to the mis­take, for mistake it was 11, most Americans in that situation, after *getting the matter off their chest (or without doing that) would have let the matter rest 12.

[3] An example of the same thing may be that although Americans like to talk about their accomplishments, it is their custom to show a  certain modesty in reply to compliments. When someone praises an American upon his achievement or upon his personal appearance, which, incidentally 13, is a very polite thing to do in America, the American *turns it aside 14". If someone should say, "Congratulations upon being elected president of the club," an American is expected to reply, "Well, I hope I can do a good job," or something of the sort. Or if someone says, "That's a pretty blue necktie you are wearing," an American is likely to say, "I'm glad you like it," or "Thank you. My wife gave it to me for my birthday." The response to a compliment seldom conveys the idea, "I, too, think I’m pretty good." 

[4] Likewise, there are fewer social conventions that show social differences in America. Students do not rise when a teacher enters the morn. One does not al-ways address a person by his title, such as "Professor" or "Doctor". ("Doctor" is al-ways used, however, for a doctor of medicine.) The respectful "sir" is not al-ways used in the northern and western parts of the country. 

[5] Clothing in America, as in every place in the world, *to a certain degree 15 reflects a person's social position and in-come, or, at least among the young, his attitudes toward society or toward himself. Yet no person is * restricted to 16 a certain uniform or manner of dress because of his occupations or class in society. A bank president may wear overalls to paint his house and is not ashamed of either the job or the clothing, and a common laborer may wear a rented tuxedo 17 at his daughter's wedding. 

[6] Yet in spite of all the informality, America is not completely without customs that show consciousness of social distinction. For example, one is likely to use somewhat more formal language when talking to superiors. While the informal "Hello" is an acceptable greeting from employee to employer, the employee is more apt to say "Hello, Mr. Ferguson", whereas the employer may reply, "Hello, Jim." Southerners make a point of saying "Yes, sir" or "Yes, ma' am 18 ", or "No, sir" or "No, ma'am" when talking to an older person or a person in position of authority. Although this is a good form all over the United States, "Yes, Mr. Weston" or "No, Mrs. Baker" is somewhat more common in a similar situation in the North or West. 

[7] Certain other forms of politeness are observed on social occasions. Though people wear hats less now than in the past, women still occasionally wear hats in church and at public social functions 19 (except those that are in the evening) . 

[8] In America there are still customs by which a man may show respect for a woman. He opens the door for her and lets her precede him through it. He walks on the side of the walk nearest the street. He takes her arm when crossing a street or descending a stairway. A younger person also show respect for an older one in much the same fashion, by helping the older person in things requiring *physical exertion 20 or involving possible accident. 

[9] American surface informality often confuses the foreigner because he interprets it to mean no formality at all. He does not understand the point at which informality stops. A teacher, though friendly, pleasant 21, and informal in class, expects students to study hard, and he grades 22 each student's work critically and carefully. He also expects to be treated with respect. Al-though students are free to ask questions about statements made by the teacher, and may say that they disagree with what he says, they are not expected to contradict him. Similarly, in boy-girl relationships a foreign student should not mistake the easy relationship and flattery that are part of the *dating pattern 23 in the United States, nor 24 presume that * it means more than it does 25. 

[10] Also, because an American is perhaps more likely to admit and laugh at his own mistakes than one who *stands more on his dignity 26, a foreigner some-times does not know how to handle the American's apparent modesty. The American is quite ready to admit certain weak-nesses, such as "I never was good at mathematics", "I’m a rotten tennis player" , or "I'm the world's worst bridge player" . How-ever, the stranger * must not be too quick to agree with him 27. Americans think it is all right, even sporting 28 , to admit a defect in themselves , but they feel that it is almost an insult to have someone else agree . A part of American idea of good sportsmanship is the point of being generous to a loser. This attitude is *carried over 29 into matters that *have nothing to do with 30 competition. If a man talks about his weak points , the listener says something in the way of encouragement, or points to other qualities in which the speaker excels 31. An American student reports that when he was in a foreign country he was completely stunned when he said to a native, "I don't speak your language very well", and the native replied, "I should say you don't". In a similar situation an American would have commented, "Well, you have only been here two months," or "But you're making progress. 

[11] Although Americans are quite informal, it 32 is best for a foreigner, in case of doubt 33, to be too formal *rather than 34 not formal enough.  Consideration for others is the basis of all courtesy.